INDIO, Calif.—Sources within the California Natural Resources Agency confirmed Wednesday that the state’s last usable water was spent cleansing someone’s anus at the Coachella Music Festival.
1500—Dukes Friedrich and Johann try to subdue the peasantry with force, but are overwhelmingly defeated due to the fact that Dukes don’t actually know how to do anything.
$81,208: Feed the posh kittens.
Take out your smartphone and download my app. Trust me when I say it will be the best decision you make today.
An intoxicated Madison driver was taken into custody for colliding twice with a driver’s education vehicle at the intersection of North Stoughton Road and East Washington Avenue Wednesday, according to a Madison Police Department report.
1302—The Battle of Reading occurs. Everyone cries.
1521—The Diet of Worms is held in Germany by the Holy Roman Empire. If you think that’s bad, afterward, they drank the blood of Christ.
1302—Dante Alighieri is exiled from Florence. He spends the rest of his life passing through hell.
1818—Illinois becomes a state and immediately starts illannoying its neighbors.
The thing about Diarrhea Planet is, no matter how good their recordings sound, they will always be a better live band. That is just a fact. And it’s not to take anything away from their studio work or their newest EP, Aliens in the Outfield. Diarrhea Planet are simply a band you need to see live in order to fully appreciate and understand them.
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