Ayomide Awosika

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Soaked

"Soaked" is a rousingly introspective creative and metaphorical piece, offering a unique outlook on the significance of dreams by writer Ayomide Awosika.

Hollywood depleted; as jail cells fill, male stars are needed

In breaking news from Hollywood, all of their male movie stars have recently been arrested and  sent to jail as a result of a plethora of crimes being committed en masse.

How to prepare for the Christmas season

1. Get in the Christmas spirit by listening to same 18 songs every store will be playing for the next month. 2.

Poli Sci majors are now required to win their Thanksgiving dinner arguments in order to graduate

Thanksgiving is a welcomed holiday for people all around the United States. It’s a time to reflect on the important things in life: The people who we care deeply about, the privileges and good fortunes that we take for granted, while ignoring the fact that we’re currently living on stolen land.

Republicans say it's not the time to talk about gun control, but whispering is fine

In light of the recent Texas church shooting, the topic of gun control laws has once again been brought to dinner tables just in time for Thanksgiving dinner.

Wisconsin government soon to pass abstinence-only legislature

Late Tuesday afternoon, The Daily Cardinal got wind of a new bill being proposed by Wisconsin state lawmakers that aims to implement abstinence-only education in publicly funded schools, ranging from elementary schools to the university level.

Washington Redskins announce changing team mascot to potato

At a press conference preceding their next game, the Washington Redskins owner, Dan Snyder, announced that the team will be changing their mascot to a humanoid potato before the current NFL season concludes.

Pepsi to be official UW Athletics beverage as part of diversity initiative

In recent news, Pepsi is poised to replace Snapple as the official UW-Athletics beverage, beginning in July 2018.

Adderall dealers pay professors for best midterm scheduling

Within the past week news has surfaced exposing the prolonged relationship between local drug dealers and an astounding number of UW-Madison professors.

UWPD app allows students to tweet their crime as it happens

In last week’s ASM meeting it was announced that the UWPD has partnered with Rave, a company that allows safety officials to respond more quickly to incidents, to create an app for UW students.

DJ Khaled alledgely swallowed 24 cases of Mentos throughout October.

GOP Walgreens

An artist’s rendering of what the proposed clinic could look like.

Whispering Sweet Nothings

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Whispering Sweet Nothings

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Putin awarding comrade Donald Trump the highly coveted Russian award for “Best Golden Shower.”