Well folks, it's been real. This is officially the last column from One in a Jillian and I can't say I haven't gotten a little weepy thinking about not seeing my face (and cleav) in The Daily Cardinal ever again. I know, I know, you're going to miss me too.
As graduation draws closer—terrifyingly close—and my departure from Wisconsin becomes more imminent, my yearlong effort to grow up and become a full-fledged, responsible adult becomes less about choice and more about necessity. Over the weekend, I decided the time had come to make a big step into adulthood: the purchase of a new car.
As the academic year draws to a close and the total number of weeks of class remaining can be counted on one hand (or foot if you don't have hands or happen to be wearing mittens), my desire to write interesting or entertaining columns has begun to wane.
After spending all of last week being regaled with stories about sandy white beaches, margaritas served in foot-long tubes, karaoke clubs in China and all the glory that was Spring Break 2010, I decided I'd had enough. I'm not really good at the whole ""be happy for your friends"" thing; I'm much more of a ""fight fire with fire"" person. I gathered my troops, planned and booked a seven-day getaway to Mexico. Take that PCB-ers.
Dieting is really hard when your favorite thing in life is food. Ask Oprah... or Kirstie Alley. I doubt two people have ridden the Fight Fat roller coaster harder or more frequently than those two. After millions of dollars worth of endorsements, supplements, personal trainers and gym equipment, they still haven't figured out any secrets to long-lasting weight loss.
Athleticism is not really my thing. I can't run fast. I can't catch. And throwing isn't really my strong point either. In high school I was a swimmer—a good one, thank you very much—because swimming is the only sport that doesn't require any one of the three previously mentioned talents. And I was a cheerleader. But that had more to do with wanting access to both the football and basketball teams on a daily basis.
I am a/an _______ eater. Fill any adjective in the blank—emotional, bored, drunk—and it's an accurate descriptor. And I think it's hereditary. Look at any member of my immediate family at any point in time and there's about a 97 percent chance that they'll have some kind of foodstuff either in mouth or in hand.
Sometimes I wonder if my girly wiring is a little off. Instead of melting my heart and making my uterus glow with warmth, every time I look at a baby, I feel my arteries tighten and waves of nausea crash through my body. Seeing pregnant women is even worse.
Some people don't understand the value of commercials. These people believe they should be able to watch their favorite TV shows or sporting teams play without interruption.
Everyone has something about themselves that they hate. With some people, it's a physical thing. For others, their issues might run a little deeper.
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