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Friday, November 22, 2024

Ryan Gallentine


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A little too much junk in the trunk

I know I'm getting older because my wallet is getting bigger. With each passing year it grows more bulky and more unwieldy a thing to sit on. There is a noticeably increasing angle when I sit down. The people behind me in class are placing bets on when I'll finally topple. 

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Blaming guns like shooting fish in a barrel

\It's too easy to blame the lax gun control laws or the entertainment industry or video games or any other scapegoat. It's within our power to change these laws, futilely attempting to prevent violence, but it's also within our power to '

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Dishin’ out family love every Thursday

Family dinner is one of those things you don't miss until you're at college. Sure you don't have to actually make dorm food, and frozen pizzas are cheap and easy, but nothing quite compares to Mom's home cooking after a long day of sleeping through class. 

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Friendly flying for the fortunate few

\I'm fairly certain if I were ever to fly first class, I'd prefer to board last instead. Supposedly it's part of the luxury, but to me boarding first means the entire rest of the plane walks past you with that half-longing, half-disappro'

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Now is the spring of our discontent

\I suspect if the founding fathers hadn't given us free assembly, the people in this city would never leave the coffee shop. We'd just wander the streets jacked up on skim mocha lattes shouting political slogans indiscriminately at confused pe'

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Five-second rule creates sticky situation

\Knowing Thad Matta was chomping on spearmint gum during the biggest game of his career enables me to further dislike him. Everyone knows Polar Ice is the one and only acceptable non-bubble variety of gum,"" writes Ryan Gallentine in Get Rich or die Ryan.'

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